This is Clayton.

Born on July 22, 2014.
9lbs 3/4oz.
21 1/12in. tall.
Adorable.

He happens to be the light of my world. I don't know how my life would have played out if he hadn't have came when he did. He made me realize that I was being selfish in life and even when he couldn't talk or crawl, I learned that he taught me quite a few of life's most valuable lessons...

-Its not about me anymore.
-Things are not important.
-God has control over anything and everything.
-How to have fun.
-How to actual smile and make it a real one.
-I stopped wondering what my purpose was.
-He was my purpose, to love and take care of him.

I'm tryna get my Usher on, but I can't let it burn.

Promises, promises.

You were bred for humanity and sold to society. One day you'll wake up in the present day, a million generations removed from the expectations of being who you really want to be.

Whenever I get to where Im going, I know I'll be just unimaginably content. I promise myself that.

Leaving the Nest

"Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same"

I've been caught up between doing what other people, and other people being my parents want me to do. Even though, its not like they are not letting me make my own choices, but they, they being my father.. he's trying to control my every future move. In the present, everything is fine. But as soon as I start talking, moving out..marriage..or become my own person, hes get all defensive and makes me feel guilty. I'm tired of it. And I have been for 6 or 7 years now. I thought it all would stop as soon as I hit 18, 19, 20, or 21. But my 21st birthday is in less than a month and I'm about to tell him how I'm going to live my life according to what my standards are. I love and respect my dad, but I'm a grown woman and I'm not going to be controlled by a single ounce of the guilt he puts on my shoulders.

"When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer? Do what you want to."


Credits to, Corinne Bailey Rae and her song "Put Your Records On"  
That songs stuck on replay. And will be until I get out of this rutt I call leaving the nest.

No longer is there going to be a fake
smile painted on my face. I'm going to
say what I need to say in order to achieve the things
I want for my future.

The Freedom is Mine. All Mine.

I'm here.

I'm sorry that I've not been on here, not that it matters... :P but the weather in Kentucky has been amazing, so I've been outside enjoying it. Anywho.. this post doesn't have a point, just updated so you guys know i'm not gone forever.

Smoothie!! :)

Cheers!

Jason Blakley:
Thank you for taking me under your wing when I was training! You really are a great guy and an awesome Paramedic! Even though you had your moments haha, I still enjoyed coming up there and working with you! You are a very ambitious person even when you don't want to be and I love that about you!! Good luck with life!! :P

Aunt Bean:
I love the bond that you and Ashton share, she seems to adore you and almost has a protective outlook towards you when it comes to your heart. I think you are a hard-worker and I respect that! I love that you speak your mind but also have a big heart for the ones you care about. It seems to me that you give a lot and a lot of people abuse that. Don't let anyone run over ya! Youre too good for that! I love you!!!

Josh Garrett:
You've pissed me off more than anyone else on this list, and you know why. But whenever you are with Paige and Mason, you seem to have a grip on things. I'm watching you. Don't forget that. We've been through a lot together but that doesn't mean everything is fine and dandy. Take care of Mason and Paige, and show them you love them, even when its hard.. I know life aint what its cracked up to be, but everything happens for a reason. Keep on keeping on. K?

James Coulter:
I'll start off by saying that I believe you are one of the most honest people I know. And you keep the promises you make to yourself. I respect that about you! You are so talented and have a special ear for music. I wish I had something like that. I'm glad that were friends, because when we weren't it really hurt my feelings, but I understand now it was for both your good and mine, so thank you..  for your maturity. Really. I hope you live your dream.

Sister:
You are such a kind-hearted person and always knows the right thing to say when I'm sad. And when I'm happy were two peas in a pod. I love that we mesh so well and I appreciate everything that youve done for me. If you think about it, you've made me who I am today, (no really) I love that you are funny and make me laugh when i need it. You make every serious situation funny, (when it needs to be) and you can speak your mind too, which i love. You have an intelligent mind and I love the fact that you have overcame so much. You're willpower completely amazes me and I love that you never give up! Keep on doing what your doing, everything will turn out JUST FINE. :) I love you biggin.

Dylan Wells:
Sometimes I don't know if you and I are friends anymore, which is very understandable. I will always love you as a friend, and I hope you know that.

John Reynolds:
I'm not really sure what to say, but I hope your life turns out the way you want it too. Best of Luck with your future.

Tom Sawyer:
Your mind is incredible and I see that in everything you say. You tend to be a bit loud about things, but it never bothered me, I always liked that about you. Seemed to get the point across a lot faster. I know I don't see you a lot anymore, but i want you to know that I'm still here if you need me for anything. And keep hangin out with Chris, hes a great guy! Love you dude!

April Lynn:
Me and you have gone through a lot together, and I know I haven't been there for you like I should. I wanna take the time to apologize now for that. You were always like a sister to me, and you still are. You are such a beautiful lady that loves her God. And I respect you so much. A lot of people don't give you enough credit for the the way you think and how loving your heart is, and I think that more people should take the time to realize what a wonderful person you really are. You know I love you, with all my heart. And just because I act a fool sometimes doesn't mean I'm not here. Know that.. please.. :)

Emily Helm:
You make me laugh soooo hard! Ilove you sense of humor and the fact that you have such a big heart for animals. I listened to you vent on the way to bowling green and I heard a lot of sadness and anger in the way you were talking. I want to let you know that sometimes life is super hard, but you gotta push through. And I know you can. Sometimes you have to listen to the other person and get there side, and then sometimes you have to stay out of it, but either way.. i know you can handle it, because you really are a strong person. If your going through hell, keep on going. Okay? I love you!!! 

Matthew Wheeler

I'm so glad I have you as a best friend, partner in crime, love of my life and soul mate. You and I make the perfect team and share so much in common. You make the my days much easier and my nights better. You are such a sweetheart when it comes to every person you meet, even though they may not notice it at first, I do. Everyone around you seems to be much happier. I love that about you. Your laughter is so contagious and you're the comic relief everywhere you go. You can make me laugh until I cry, and you can make me madder than fire, but that's okay. We find ourselves in complicated situations. There is no relationship which isn't defined with a complicated label. Yes, there are beautiful times full of sunshine and the purest of love, but those times do pass. The bad times pass, as well. Relationships are ever-changing, there is no perfect one. What makes a relationship next to perfect is your magnetic attraction of souls, the layers of each other that you've matched up on, and the possibility to take on "it's complicated" together, as a team, instead of alone. I think we can do that, don't you? ;)

I mean it when i say, i want to go through life, with you.. Until we're old and gray. I love you to the moon and back. <3

Paige Emmitt

We go way back. Like, 3 years old. (you already know this) BUT that was my opening statement. You'll understand. We've done so much together, been through everything together, and our lives have changed..but despite it all. We still manage to make time for each other. I love that no matter what you're still there. You are a wonderful mother, and I think you are the strongest person I know, even though you may have bad days..you still push through and make everything seem alright. Mason is so lucky to have you, and I'm proud of you for everything that you've done for him. You make it look easy, when i know it isn't. I will always love you, and you are forever my best friend. True friend, sister...whatever. :)

P.S you'll get everything you've ever dreamed of for your life, you just gotta be patient. I love you!



bambi.