Mariah

Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to ...admit it openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worse, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within.

-Sigmund Freud

I think it's time for you to let go of the past. It has hurt you way too much. Just let the memories fade.
It's time to leave everything behind. I need you to know that when you let go of the hurt and pain, its going to ache, and I'll be there for you if and when you need a shoulder to cry on. I know that you will be ok, but you have to figure that out for yourself. Its time to stop being scared, and its time to release the fear of the unknown and let your present and future flood into your life. Sometimes, to get what you want you have to take a chance, risk it all , because it's worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT. Live your life with no chains attached, because there's someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. You just have to be open enough to see it and if you're convinced that your not good enough, you're going to have a hard time, letting in someone who thinks you are. I know it'll be a struggle, but it's for the best, trust me. Remember, always follow your heart & everything will be fine. 

Love always, Elizabeth.

It's at night, when perhaps we should be dreaming, that the mind is most clear, that we are most able to hold all our life in the palm of our skull.  I don't know if anyone has ever pointed out that great attraction of insomnia before, but it is so; the night seems to release a little more of our vast backward inheritance of instincts and feelings; as with the dawn, a little honey is allowed to ooze between the lips of the sandwich, a little of the stuff of dreams to drip into the waking mind.  I wish I believed, as J. B. Priestley did, that consciousness continues after disembodiment or death, not forever, but for a long while.  Three score years and ten is such a stingy ration of time, when there is so much time around.  Perhaps that's why some of us are insomniacs; night is so precious that it would be pusillanimous to sleep all through it!  A "bad night" is not always a bad thing.

It seems as though I get more accomplished during the night. At one point of another this sleep schedule of mine is going to come back and bite me. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not ashamed of it either. I remain neutral and I choose not to think about it. Except for now. My mind is a big cluster of tangled up wires and I know I have the patience to untangle them, but only at night is when I truly find that peace of mind. I can't go throughout the day without thinking about what I'm going to do with the wee hours of the morning. Most of which is spent drawing, writing, and youtube videos. 

Even though I wouldn't call drawing, writing, and youtube videos productive; I call it my place in my brain where most of my happiness comes from. I hate being alone and those three things, help me cope. 

Life is something that happens when you can't sleep. Or in my case, wish to not sleep.

Skinny Dippin' - Ashton Rebstock

Pretty Picture.


Funny Picture.


Happy Picture.

It’s easier to think screw life, screw work, screw everything, than to admit that you’re overwhelmed and feel like you’re drowning. because sometimes, it’s easier to admit the simple things than to say the hard things and realize how much you’ve been struggling and how much you feel as if life has gone out of your control.