God is in your boat.

I, even I am He who comforts you.
Who are you that you should be afraid of a man who will die, and 
of the son of a man who will be make like grass?
-Isaiah 51:12

There is no escaping it. Trouble comes at some point to everyone, but there also is a victory in suffering that cannot be overlooked. Joni Eareckson Tada explains, "I believe those who suffer the greatest on earth have the greatest confidence of sharing in His highest glory. This is a wonderful inspiration to those who are hurting. Amy Carmmichael wrote something I will never forget: "We will have all of eternity to celebrate victories, but only few hours before sunset in which to win them."

Some of our greatest triumphs come as a result of being willing to weather the storms of life. When we commit ourselves to trusting Jesus regardless of the outcome, God's power is released in might ways. The disciples did not forget what it was like to face the gale-force winds of the Sea of Galilee. Neither did they forget the power of the hush that came as a result of Christ's command to the wind and the sea.

The faith they gained in troubled times could not be imitated or duplicated. It became a part of their personal testimony to a great and wondrous God. Jesus saves those who trust in Him.

Are you facing something much greater than your ability to handle? Turn your fear and sorrow over to Jesus. Allow Him to take your hurt and disappointment. When He is in your boat, there is no need to worry.


I've been going through a "listless" period in my life.
This is what God showed me through His word.
I pray that you turn every fear that you have over to Him.


Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,  through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 

Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. 

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. 

Romans 5:1-5

Wow.

The sky was soooo pretty tonight.

I need someone or something to tell me how I feel, but if I start looking for the words it won't ever be right. A song would maybe explain something, but it can never be to the point. Only good classic music gets me, understands me. Good classic music isn't around anymore. I don't know where I'm going with this. I feel as though I'm in Limbo. I don't believe it Limbo. My head has too much energy. I can't relax. What's wrong with me?

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the dang poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the heck out of never trying.

When it comes down to it, I feel like I'm slacking in school, when really I'm not. I should pray more. I focus on work too much, and leave school out because I enjoy work more than school. I'm happy, but not. Its a weird feeling. I would say that I feel like something is missing, but its not. I feel content. Just uneasy. But those two words are antonyms. I sometimes think I'm misconstrued.

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

BUT: At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

I need some people to take my breath away.
My head is full; of thinking.
I need to not think for awhile. Just for five minutes.

I sleep fine, I carry on with life fine, I'm happy.
But thinking, well...it destroys me.

Those minutes where I am alone, just me and my pillow. I think, a lot. I think about everything, anything. It varies from "what am I doing with my life?" to "did I have homework?" The room is so silent, but my mind is so loud. It drives me crazy because the things I would never think about, I think about. Sometimes, I hate it because it brings up thing I would rather never think about again. The split second before sleep is the most active second of my life.

It seems as though when I wake up, I feel rested. However my dreams come true. Some way, somehow. That active second before I fall asleep makes me feel like I can do anything in my dreams.

And if after reading this, you still don't believe that you have a person that totally loves and admires you, you're wrong. You're just wrong. Because no matter what your thinking, and no matter what you think of yourself, I think your amazing, and I think your beautiful, because everyone and everything has beauty, and you just happen to be apart of that everyone.

This is the view I'm encountering for the next few days.






&& I've decided, that no matter what happens, it's not the end of the world. I will go on with life. No matter what.

November 2 = Bad day, good ending.

there's something so beautiful about a woman who can pickup what's left of herself, and move on with her life. because she realizes that time stops for no one;
and as long as we keep moving, everything is going to heal at some point
we keep moving, everything is going to heal at some point.