Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Sometimes, there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes, change may not be what we want. Sometimes, change is exactly what we need. And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll never have to do, but sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down and makes you more vulnerable than you ever though possible. Sometimes, change is too much to bear. But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.
Can you tell me that ten years from today, you will remember
the days we spent catching butterflies and counting airplanes?
Over the summer, I have gotten to know more a lot more people, and made new friends, and they are all moving away for college, and I'm staying in Glasgow, My hometown. I want the college experience I never went through. I want to move away, but then again, I wanna just stay where I'm at with my boyfriend and grow up together. I wanna be able to finish my Associates Degree, get an apartment and get engaged. But I don't know if I wanna do that in Glasgow? Maybe? Maybe not? I just have this feeling of hey, I'm growing up more and more as each week, month and year passes. Maybe I wont leave, maybe it wasn't meant for me to leave, but the fun times, I feel like they are gone now, and its time to get down to the nitty gritty and move on with my life. After everyone has left, what else is there to do besides grow in my relationship with my boyfriend, go to work, and go to school? Is this what the real world feels like?
I simply know that it is somewhat what it feels like. I don't live on my own, and when I start paying bills, and start having a life outside of my parents; thats when I'll be living. Thats when I'll be scared, and when I'll need all my friends that are gone with me, but they aren't going to be there. They too will move on and grow up and move out into the real world.
I don't believe that when you move to college, then thats the real world, I think its when you get out of college and don't know what direction to go. At what point do you stop and say, I'm satisfied?
I want that point to come soon for me, but I' know it won't. I know it will be a while and its kind of sad. Sad in a way that maybe something good will happen to me along the way, and then there's a chance of something changing. I don't like change. But its apart of life, at one point, I'm going to have to accept that.
I'm up at 12:49am with a headache, thinkin about this. WHY?
Thursday, August 19, 2010
If die young bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love song.
Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother, She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, ain't even gray, but she buries her baby.
&& I’ll be wearing white when I come into Your kingdom, I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man, but it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand. There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever, who would have thought forever could be
So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls, what I never did is done.
A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar;
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’
The ballad of a dove, go with peace and love;
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em.
So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls....
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Story: I came into work, and was kinda of freaked out because it had stormed and the entire city was blacked out. No red lights, no street lights, more wrecks, it was just me and my headlights; which aren't very bright anyway. Earlier that day, it was the hottest day of the year. The heat index was 108 degrees, and the steam was rising off the roads where it had rained. It looked like something out of a scary movie. My cell phone lost service. It said I could only make emergency calls. I got to work, and stayed a while. And might I mention, I'm on the graveyard shift. Anyways, the electricity finally came back on, and ruined one of the computers, this night was not turning out good. I get on my laptop, and this song pops up on Itunes. I have NO idea how it started playing on its own. But I think it was Gods way of saying, you are going to be fine. I've got your back.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Too often, we go through life on